1.
I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail
to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this
automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in,
chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all
the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday
on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the
order it was received.
4. Thank you
for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the
first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail
server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to
deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending
again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see all
the in-duh-viduals who did this)
6. Thank you for
your message, which has been added to a queuing system.. You are
currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.
7. I've run away
to join a different circus.
AND,
FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:
8. I will be out
of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.. When I
return, please refer to me as ' Margaret ' instead of 'Steve'.